On July 24, Corie and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. So we decided to watch the DVD of our wedding ceremony. Memories flooded my mind about that day. I still remember telling people the wedding was at 3 p.m. instead of the right time- 2 p.m. even up to the day before. For some reason, I just couldn't get the time straight. I remember my mom crying the moment she saw me dressed in my tux for the first time that afternoon. I remember our embrace and me telling her that I loved her. I remember the honor of having my father stand by my side as my best man. I will never forget what happened after the reception. My father-in-law walked in on me changing clothes, frantically asking me where I had placed the keys to the car that Corie and I were to depart in. I reminded him that he was in charge of guarding the keys from the groomsmen, and that he needed to secure a car quickly because my honeymoon would not be postponed! Later he found them in his coat pocket, so we were able to go on our honeymoon (thank goodness!). And, most of all, I remember seeing my beautiful bride walk down the aisle toward me. It was surreal. She was gorgeous. The joy of having Corie's father place her hand into mine was awesome as well. The first time we heard, "Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Smith" was a reality check too. Watching our wedding made me even more thankful for my best friend, my wife.
I am reminded of Paul’s words to the church in Ephesians 5:25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”
I did not marry Corie because she was ugly, both inside and out. I did not marry her in order to make her life better. She was doing fine without me. She had a great family, friends, and a passion for the glory of Christ. I did not sacrifice that much either. In fact, it would have been a sacrifice for me if I could not live the rest of my life with her. In many ways, I married her for selfish reasons. I knew she would be a great mother, a good asset in the ministry, and a wonderful companion. This is completely contrary to why Christ chose to marry the church, is it not? He chose us in spite of our ugliness. He died so that we might live. We were not doing fine without Him. We needed Him, or we would go to hell and be separated from His glorious presence forever. He sacrificed much, so that we might be presented to Him as a spotless bride. In spite of our many imperfections, He loves us more than imperfect, human husbands love their imperfect wives. That is why Paul must tell husbands to love their wives. The command implies man’s propensity to live for self. The command implies the husband’s tendency to value “things”- even good things- above his wife.
We had a love song sang at our wedding. It was not a particularly “rich” song theologically speaking. It was written by a Christian, and sung by a Christian, but it was more of a love song. There have been times that I have questioned why we did not choose a more “spiritual and theological” song. But I no longer question using that song. I think, if we are not careful, as Christians we can try and be “too spiritual” in wedding ceremonies, and in our marriages in general. Yes, marriage points to Christ’s love for the church. Yes, the husband sacrifices for His wife. Yes, the wife submits herself to her husband. However, as much as human marriage is like the church’s union with Christ, there is still a sense in which it is different. I married Corie for the reasons I listed above. She married me, I presume, for similar reasons. We fell in love. And we are still in love. We did not marry one another because I was the “ultimate picture of Christ”, and she was the “ultimate picture of the church”. In fact, our understanding of Christ has grown immensely since our wedding day. And the more it grows, the more we both realize our utter inability to be and do what Paul calls husbands and wives to be and do in Ephesians 5. We simply married one another because we loved one another. And now, as we grow spiritually, we attempt to reflect the union Christ has with His church.
But human marriage ultimately points to a final day- a day in which we will serve our glorious husband in full submission and delight. We will be as He is. It will be a perfect, wondrous union that can never be broken. We will live in His presence forever.
Yet, I am still thankful for my earthly spouse. She is the best thing that ever happened to me, apart from salvation. I pray that God will enable me to love her more for the glory of Christ. This is what Paul calls husbands to in Ephesians 5.
Touching! Wish all men had your good sense.
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